Have you ever been in one of those moods where the words you want to say are sitting perched at the edge of your tongue? Ready, willing, and screaming at you to set them free. I have a rant sitting there ready to come out, and its been sitting there for days so much so I can almost taste the blood from holding onto them so tightly. I was taught that if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say it all but quite frankly I’ve never been very good at following that lesson. I have been called names and looked at funny because of things I’ve let out and clearly it doesn’t bother me all that much.
I am an emotional and passionate person. How else do expect me to express myself? Words are my currency and I’ve never gone bankrupt. I don’t know if I’ve ever not had something to say. If that’s a bad thing I’ve never thought of it that way. I think if you can analyze a situation verbally, proving your understanding at least then you’ve learned something in your life. Understanding is a key component of life in my world. That being said, it is astounding how often I find something I just can’t grasp or understand. More often than not it happens to me when I am dealing with other people.
It baffles me when someone I know well is doing or rather not doing something that seems to me common sense. I know that just because I see it as common sense that doesn’t mean they will , but still sometimes things are so glaringly obvious I don’t see how it goes unnoticed. For example if you let someone else dictate your life because you’re afraid of hurting their feelings its worng. You can’t put someone else before yourself like that, trust me I know, I’ve done it with almost all of my friends and I’ve learned how unhealthy that can become for you as well as them.
So my advice, though you may not be asking for it is this….Don’t let the control you, if that is what they are doing then they aren’t a good friend to have, or a friend at all in most cases. Being a friend does mean making compromises yes but sacrificing things for your friends isn’t always the best choice. I sacrificed my happiness for a ex boyfriend and for two old friends of mine on countless occasions. It broke me apart, I became someone so unlike me it was terrifying to realize.
If you are afraid of what taking charge might do to your friend, pool your recourses. If you are attending a college, go to the wellness center, they should have some sort of councilor that you can talk to. Ask them questions; ask for advice on how to handle this person or situation. It helps a lot, I mean I wouldn’t still be sitting here without the councilor I see. Its nothing to be ashamed of by any means. We all need a little help some times.
I just hope that you will be brave enough to ask for help. I believe wholeheartedly that if you are able to admit you need help and go ask for it than you are one of the bravest people in the world.
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